As a full-service sex worker (erotic labourer is a term I prefer, thanks to the ever-educating Suprihmbé, but sex worker is still the more widely used term) I often ponder about the meaning of the words “sex” and “intimacy”. There’s always been a whorearchy in place in this industry: whoever manages to work around sex but avoid PiV activities is higher on the hierarchy, and those of us who partake in activities that implicate genital contact are lower in it. This is, obviously, a very tricky subject.[Read more…]
All of you who know me know that I am quite the bookworm: I love reading, I love investigating what to read next, and I love writing about what I read. So when a few other Dommes and I started TopSHELF, I was beyond excited – our own reading club focused on books that were related to our craft! It’s sometimes exceedingly hard to find properly written books about BDSM, FemDom particularly, that are not just projection, fantasies, or ill-informed. Here’s where I found “Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire”, which was recommended to me by Domina Lyra, another fellow bookworm and history nerd (you really need to check out her greek myth-inspired pictures).[Read more…]
There are few things more satisfying to me than allowing my sharp tongue to pour all her maliciousness over the mind of whomever I am spanking at that moment; impact play without verbal humiliation doesn’t quite do it for me, personally. If I am hurting your body, I want to make sure I am hurting your mind as well: mens poenas in corpore poenas, if you might.[Read more…]
This has to be, by far, the question we get asked most by our “vanilla” fellows: Why would someone hire you? (Let’s keep the kinkphobia out of it and ignore the “to kick them in the balls” part) With communities like FetLife, Reddit or Twitter where you can find many non-professional Dommes, why bother paying for one?